Where is better to start than with the man everyone wants to know about? Roman Reigns. This lad has went, in the space of a year, from being "the shite one" in the Shield, to being one of the most over guys and without a doubt, the most improved all round performer in the company today. If ye don't get a wee bit excited whenever he punches somecunt's noggin in or says they words in that husky, seductive voice of his, yer nae pal of mine. Dean Ambrose. We all know this man is an eccy away from a severe mental breakdown. Aye his gimmick just now is that he's acting like a spoilt wee wean and jealous of big Roman's rise to power, but he's awfy good at that wrestling thing, and can cut a psychological promo that'll have ye shaking in yer boots. Seth Rollins. As I'll say later, we get to see a side of Sethy boy in this match. A side I dig. A lot. Not only one of the best tag team wrestlers about today, this lad is one of the most dynamic fuckers on the roster. Technically sound, can fly at ye from at any angle. Shame about the mic work, but I'll no hawd it against ye mate. Now for yer Wyatt Family. I'll start with Rowan, not a great wrestler, and one of the ugliest bastards alive, but he played his part in the match well - he threw cunts about. Because he's Erick Rowan, and that's just what he does. Luke Harper is a strange yin. Always been playing second fiddle to Bray and never really been given his chance to shine. Recently however, he's showed that he can dae anything in the history of things. What a hidden gem of a talent. And finally, the main man, the eater of worlds, Bray Wyatt. Never in the history of wrestling have I been more captivated with a man and clung to each and every word he says. An absolute speed demon for his size, and sheer brutality in abundance, this man is on the verge of being a great. A legend in the making. Watch this space. But aye, the match...
Before the match even started, we had a face off between the two teams. The fans didny know who to cheer for. "LET'S GO WYATT'S!" "LET'S GO SHIELD!". I was solidly behind the Shield because they're probably as close to the "face" team as either could have been, and kayfabe n aw that. It looked like we'd get a clean start but Deano goes "aye fuck that" and jumps on Bray like a man possessed. It's fucking begun. The scrap that followed was eventually broken up and we have us a conventional six man tag team match. Rollins and Rowan start us off, and after a brutal mugging for a good 10 minutes, at attempt at a Super Back Suplex resulted in Rollins landing in his feet, clotheslining Rowan out the ring and suicide diving on top of him. Braw. Rollins gets an almighty pop and it looks like he appreciated it. There's a void in my mind somewhere about here but Reigns and Bray finally get in and it's all go. Battering the absolute shite out each other. Funnily enough, there wasn't much of Ambrose in the ring, but that's awrite, cos he's Dean Ambrose, and he'll get involved when and how he fucking wants. The next moment when I had to break to have a mini orgasm, was when Bray hit that brutal Rock Bottom-esque move on Rollins. Ambrose breaks up the pin but gets a massive boot off Harper. Ambrose rolls oot the ring and stands up, then aw ye can see is him just flopping back doon on the outside. Hilarious. Harper then preceded to hit a fuckin DROPKICK on Ambrose. Deano has a look of genuine disbelief, like "did he actually just dae that?", but it got better. Ambrose is in the outside, having a mini brawl wi Bray (I think), when Harper fuckin SUICIDE DIVES onto him! Whit the fuck! Rollins follows that up with an all running, all diving, all beautiful Senton over the top rope. Fucking orgasmic stuff. Reigns and Rowan are the legal men. Ambrose is still nursing a broken body after Harper's death-defying antics. Bray and Luke have big ideas for the other boayzie but, as they clear the Spanish announce table, and it looks as if Seth is going RIGHT FUCKING THROUGH IT. Ambrose saves the day but and him and Bray end up scrapping in the crowd, it's aw too much. Rowan and Reigns are still going at it in the ring but, and tbh I canny rembember paying much attention to that aspect with time I've watched this, because I've been too intrigued by the fact Ambrose and Wyatt disappeared inty the sunset together, now Wyatt is back and Ambrose is no where to be seen. Rowan has fucked Reigns out the other side of the ring, an now it's three on one against Rollins. He tried to get a bit of offence in, but Seth, after Bray gave they orders, ye were never not getting double chokeslammed through the Spanish announce table. Reigns is the legal man however and now he's left 3 on one with the Wyatt's anawl. He goes after them but it was never gonny work. Harper takes the heid clean aff him and it looks academical, Bray gets in and sets him up for Sited Abigail, but Reigns being the big powerful sexy man that he is, powers out and goes about cleaning house. Superman punches for EVERYONE. The fans are gawn wild, there are lassies pinging things at him. The roar. Spear time. As he's squaring up Wyatt, Harper comes into the ring and catches the full force of Roman's spear. That gave Bray time to recover, throw himself at Reigns in that maniacal and freakishly fast fashion. Sister Abigail. It's over.
The word "war" got thrown around a lot leading up to this match. And by fuck did it deliver. An absolute battle between these two teams. Repect to all six men for making the match one to remember. The greatest six man tag match of all tine. The match of the year so far. The standard has been set, I'm just worried that no Wrestlemania match is going to even come close to this in terms of wrestling, storytelling, and sheer epicness. We'll be lucky to see a better match all year. Well done Wyatts. Well done Shield. That was a wonder to behold.