Pre-show: The Rhodes vs Ryback & Curtis Axel
I question WWE Creative often, normally for the lack of push that Dolph Ziggler has been receiving and the fact that Damien Sandow didny win the WHC off his money in the bank cash-in, then faded into obscurity before trying tae cancel Christmas and get involved in some massive refereeing controversy with the Great \Khali and Sgt Slaughter, and now we've no seen him in ages. That's totally irrelevant, but no quite, cos whoever decided that it'd be a good idea to keep the Rhodes boys together a month before Wrestlemania and stick them in a match with these two goons deserves to be sat in a locked room with the Miz, while Miz asks him "Really?" in 5 second intervals for 10 hours. The fact that Cody n Goldy have been shit hot since they put their differences aside, and Axel can work decent matches sometimes, might just save this one. But I'll accept nothing more than a Rybaxel win leading to Goldy booting Cody really hard in the baws and telling him he's adopted, leading to our Wrestlemania grudge match.
A question here, is the Divas title match still happening? I can remember AJ being weak as fuck and Naomi getting a shot, but I've no seen Naomi in weeks, seemingly due to an eye injury, and there's been nae mention of the match since. Ah well, if it happens, it happens, and it looks like ma wee darlin AJ will finally be dropping the belt.
Titus O'Neil vs Darren Young
I'm no gonny lie, I'm really looking forward to this. Given the time to develop into a proper match, it may be an absolute belter. Both of these cunts can go, nae doubt about it. The classic tale of former partners. Titus, the hulking bad guy, aw he wants is to batter Darren for ripping his good suit. Then, ye have Darren, the good guy, fun loving, wants revenge on Titus for his betrayal. Titus mate, yer a dick. This could go either way, if it's booked to be a short match, Titus should win in emphatic fashion. But if they choose to go the long-winded route and show DYoung's resilience to try and get him over, it'll be a win for Mr No Days Off. I personally hope for the latter, because wrestling wise, this match has hunners a potential. My prediction is Darren Young.
New Age Outlaws vs Usos (WWE Tag Team Title Match)
All I can say is... thank fuck. It's finally gonny happen. Jimmy and Jey are finally gonny get the title run they deserve. I don't mean to sound over-confident about it, but the Outlaws' return is getting stale. This match will likely be filled with some good good good wrestling and maybe some comedy spots involving Road Dogg getting cramp in his hamstring and hopping about like a madman. We'll definitely have us some flyin Usos. And we'll definitely have us some new champs.
Sixty five minutes in and no goals yet in the Newcastle/Aston Villa game, but here, there's been some tidy fitba played. Love a super sunday.
Big E vs Jack Swagger (IC Title Match)
I love Big E. I love his god like physique. I love how that belt looks on him. I love his Instagram account. What the fuck happened big man? After the initial push it was supposed to be onward and upward for this behemoth of a man, but he appears to have fizzed out. The same Big E with the same big impact moves and endless charisma, but without any sort of real momentum, or a surname. The fuck's the deal wi that anyway? I think everyone will be expecting a clear-cut Big E retain, but imma throw a spanner in the works and pick a Jack Thwagga win. Mainly cos I can sense a swerve coming. With Cesaro getting all the momentum of the Real Americans and a Swagger face turn seemingly being imminent, I reckon a Swagger win here could lead to a Cesaro face turn instead. Doubt it'll go that far but still, strongly fancy Swagger to get the belt here.
Batista vs Alberto Del Rio
I don't care. No one in the world cares. Alberto Del Rio is as good as they come in the ring. Performance wise, these two will have to put on career bests in order to have anyone remotely interested in this match. If it's even a wee bit competitive, maybe it'll be awrite. Unfortunately it'll be a squash match making Batista look strong as fuck on the way to kidnapping Wrestlemania alongside Hulk Hogan. Fuck it aw so much. Batista for the win.
The Shield vs The Wyatt Family
Don't lie. If you claim to be watching this PPV (isny really a PPV btw, it's on Sky Sports) for a reason other than this match, yer daft. Or gawin daft. Or yer just lying. Anyway, this is going to be match of the night without a doubt. I can see Roman looking mean as a mean muhfucka in this match, cos he's Roman Reigns, and if he wants to pump yer burd, he will pump yer burd. If all things go down smoothly (aye right) I can see The Shield getting the win, but still with the increasing tension between Roman and Dean, with Seth still trying to tell them tae fuckin calm it. I think it'll go down like this: in the closing stages, Roman will have cleared the ring, Superman punches for aw the Wyatt's, and as he's setting up for a Spear, that sneaky Ambrose will tag himself in, Reigns is having nane ae it but, and he gets tae arguing with Deano, before pushing him inty a Sister Abigail by accident while Rowan and Harper take care of him and Rollins. Wyatts win. Maybe have Ambrose set about the boys with a steel chair afterwards, officially splitting from the Shield.
The Elimination Chamber Match (WWE World Heavyweight Championship)
Well, this'll be fun. Loadsa steel, loadsa boays, loadsa belts, loadsa "YES! YES! YES!" at the end. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time for Daniel Bryan to take the crown. It's aw been leading up to this, the triple threat at Mania between Bryan, Orton and Batista for the belts. It needs to happen, otherwise there's no hope left for anything. Orton has been weak as fuck, therefore I'll be bold and say I think Orton will be the first eliminated. Followed by Christian, and then by Sheamus. Cena, Cesaro and Bryan the final three. In a realistic world it'll go back to where it all began at Summerslam last year, with Bryan and Cena battling it out again and once again, Bryan coming out on top, this time without any shady CEO's or semi-blind Money in the Bank winners. As long as it's these three, I'll be happy. Ma man JahnSeena might put Cesaro over however, leaving us with a stauner inducing final between Bryan and Cesaro, with the man formerly known as Antonio cementing his place as a main-eventer, but just coming up short. Don't worry Cesaro, give it time, you'll get there. In short, any scenario that results in Bryan winning the belts and I'll post a video on instagram of me greeting with sheer delight. My prediction, my heart, my heid, ma baws, says Bryan becomes our new WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
I'll be back tomorrow with a review of this very event and a wee look ahead at what might be a fantastic RAW tomorrow night. Here's hoping we get to see DBry do the unthinkable.
Newcastle won 1-0 for anycunt that's interested. Remy nicked a goal in injury time. Bastard.
The Elimination Chamber Match (WWE World Heavyweight Championship)
Well, this'll be fun. Loadsa steel, loadsa boays, loadsa belts, loadsa "YES! YES! YES!" at the end. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time for Daniel Bryan to take the crown. It's aw been leading up to this, the triple threat at Mania between Bryan, Orton and Batista for the belts. It needs to happen, otherwise there's no hope left for anything. Orton has been weak as fuck, therefore I'll be bold and say I think Orton will be the first eliminated. Followed by Christian, and then by Sheamus. Cena, Cesaro and Bryan the final three. In a realistic world it'll go back to where it all began at Summerslam last year, with Bryan and Cena battling it out again and once again, Bryan coming out on top, this time without any shady CEO's or semi-blind Money in the Bank winners. As long as it's these three, I'll be happy. Ma man JahnSeena might put Cesaro over however, leaving us with a stauner inducing final between Bryan and Cesaro, with the man formerly known as Antonio cementing his place as a main-eventer, but just coming up short. Don't worry Cesaro, give it time, you'll get there. In short, any scenario that results in Bryan winning the belts and I'll post a video on instagram of me greeting with sheer delight. My prediction, my heart, my heid, ma baws, says Bryan becomes our new WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
I'll be back tomorrow with a review of this very event and a wee look ahead at what might be a fantastic RAW tomorrow night. Here's hoping we get to see DBry do the unthinkable.
Newcastle won 1-0 for anycunt that's interested. Remy nicked a goal in injury time. Bastard.