After a beautifully constructed video package of Daniel Bryan's progress through his wrestling career, culminating in his title win the previous night, we kick off RAW with the champ himself. Bryan enters to a roaring ovation, he goes to say something but eventually just soaks up the adulation for a bit, and when he finally gets a word in sideways, the fans start with a "you deserve it" chant. Spine-tingling stuff. He explains that "YES" isn't just a word, or a catchphrase or any the rest of it, it gives everyone a voice. We wanted change, we got it. Daniel Bryan is our champion. Then it all got a bit heely.
Triple H comes out and basically loses his shit. He tells Bryan he won't get in the ring because he doesn't want to do something he'll regret, so DBry gets all up in Hunter's grill - holding the belts right up in front of him. Triple H is going to end it all tonight, he wants those titles and he wants Daniel Bryan and the universe shut up for good. The match is booked for out main event - Daniel Bryan vs Triple H for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Backstage, Batista and Orton are both demanding title shots. Understandably in Orton's case, because he gets a rematch. But what rights does Dave have here? Bit bizarre. Hunter gives them a tag title match, which can fuck off - you'll no be getting ma Uso's belts any time soon ya pair a bastards.
The Wyatt Family vs John Cena, Sheamus & Big E
Great match here. Just shows that we won't be seeing the last of Bray Wyatt and John Cena in the same ring, and I'm not bothered about that one bit. Wyatts come out to a huge pop, and seemingly everything they done throughout the match was golden as well, because the crowd stayed well and truly behind them. "Let's go Harper" chants and huge boos every time one of the good guys got a bit of offence in. Sheamus even played to the heat by dropping to his knees and mocking Bray at one point. There was some of the usual power spots from Sheamus and Big E here, and Cena was slaughtered every time he came in to the match, but there was always going to be one winning team here, and as Rowan and Harper (by way of another cracking suicide dive) cleared Sheamus and Cena out, Bray was crab-walking his way towards Big E with a chorus of "Wyatt's gonna kill you" in the background. He hits Sister Abigail, and that's all she wrote. Throughout the match, the crowd were singing "he's got the whole world in his hands" and even chanted "John Cena suuuuuucks" in the tune of Cena's music, which was hilarious.
Fandango & Summer Rae vs Santino Marella & Emma
Again man? Seriously? I love all four involve here, but come on guys, the same match every week is getting proper shite. As usual, this ends with Summer tapping to the Emma Lock, and Fandango running away from the cobra. Santino then awkwardly tries to celebrate and you get the feeling that these two are never going to shag, come on Santino! Get a half doon ye and GIP. Moving on.
This is the segment we all thought we would never see. The segment on the night after Wrestlemania, when a man stands in the ring, with a huge grin on his face, having beaten Undertaker's streak. That man is Brock Lesnar, the most hated man in professional wrestling today. Paul Heyman, as always, was wonderful on the mic. He told us not to be surprised, he told us it would happen, we should have listened. Brock Lesnar is the one man who could break the streak, and he did, and now we're all devastated. He goes on to tell us that after the match, Taker collapsed and got taken to hospital to be treated for a severe concussion, Mr. McMahon in tow. Brock Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1.
The Usos vs Batista & Randy Orton (WWE Tag Team Championship)
Never got a chance, this match. I actually thought it might have been a no bad match to be honest, but Batista and Orton attacked the Usos from the off, and threw the boys about outside for a while, resulting in a double count-out. RKO and Batista Bomb on the champs afterwards, and these two oily buggers soak in the resounding hatred coming in their directions.
RVD vs Damien Sandow
Wahey! There's RVD! He's back! Again! Good to see the big man as high and as kicky as always, but here's where I have an issue - Damien Sandow being fed to the sharks yet again. The once uncrowned world heavyweight champion is now mere bait to everyone looking for a wee push. This lasted too long to be a squash in the figurative sense of the word, but there was literally no offence from Sandow here. RVD threw kicks at every square inch of Damo's body, got him outside and hit a spinning leg drop from the apron onto Sandow, who was perched on the barricade. One rolling thunder later followed by the 5-Star Frog Splash, and that's it. Another night where Sandow earns his money by needlessly jobbing to anyone who wants him to. RVD picks up the victory, lets hope they do something worthwhile with him this time!
Rey Mysterio vs ... BAD. NEWS. BARRETT.
I don't normally get excited by those four words, but I'm afraaaaid I've got some baaaaad neeeews, I've never been more happy to hear "god save our queen" than in that moment, because it means that big Wade is back at it, he's wrestling again, and all is good here. Rey got no reception whatsoever, because despite Bryan now being champ, Rey filled what should have been DBry's no30 spot in the Rumble, and the YES Movement never forgives. The crowd went mental for Wade on the other hand, and he was about to give us some bad news when Mysterio hit the mic out his hand and started punching away while being met with a plethora of boos. Hurricanrana to the outside followed by the sliding frog splash. Rey gets Barrett back in the ring and goes up top but Wade catches him and delivers a kick right to the stomach. Barrett appreciates some Preston North End chants from the crowd before hitting Winds of Change for the 2. Mysterio rallies and hits a tornado DDT for a two count, and sets up Wade for the 619, he hits it, but when he goes up top, Barrett recovers and shakes the ropes before hitting the bullhammer elbow for the win. Good to see Barrett back in the ring, better be seeing a lot more of it!
Alexander Rusev vs Zack Ryder
Finally we see Rusev debut. It's good to see Zachy boy get some TV time but it's just a shame it's under these circumstances. Rusev is a brute, and he wasted no time here, after some brutal kicks to the mush and knees to the gut, the big man hits a fallaway slam and a pumphandle suplex, before locking in the Accolade (it's the camel clutch) and making Ryder tap out for the good of his own spine. Physically impressive, fine wrestler, I like the look of Rusev, and I really hope he doesn't end up like Khali and Kozlov. He isn't getting built up for no reason, and with both mid-card champs at the moment being faces, it looks like he'll soon have a run at Ambrose's US title or Big E's IC title. Should be good either way.
Ultimate Warrior
This is hard, guys.This is really hard. One night, I'm watching this man give a speech, not knowing quite what he's going on about, and now it all makes sense.
"Every man's heart one day beats it's final beat, his lungs breathe their final breath and if what that man did in his life makes the blood pulse through the body of others and makes them believe deeper in something larger than life, then his essence, his spirit, will be immortalised... you are the legend makers of Ultimate Warrior... I am Ultimate Warrior, you are the Ultimate Warrior fans, and the spirit of Ultimate Warrior will run forever!"
Ultimate Warrior passed away only 24 hours after giving that speech, and whether its just sheer co-incidence, or whether he knew his time was almost up, it'll go down as one of the most iconic segments in WWE history. The world of wrestling lost a legend, an icon, and even if he wasn't the greatest wrestler of all time, he was sure one of the best ever performers.
Rest in peace, Warrior.
It's story time with AJ! The mental mare that she is skips her way down to the ring with Tamina in tow as usual, and cuts a cracking wee promo about how she's given the entire Divas division all this time to take the Divas title from her, she is the savior of the Divas division, she is the "Best Diva In The World" (nice nod in Phil's direction there), she IS the Divas division. Then it happened. That shrill screech sounded and I almost hit the floor. PAIGE IS HERE. I love Paige btw. So much. To say I got a bit excited is an understatement. The crowd were into this. I was into this. Paige is only here to congratulate AJ, but April doesn't like being interrupted and slaps the taste out Paige's mouth before telling her she's about to get a title shot. Game on lads.
AJ Lee vs Paige (Divas Title Match)
The bell rings, and right from the off AJ sets about Paige. A kick to the gut is followed by AJ attempting to lock in the Black Widow, but after a struggle, Paige wriggles free and hits the Paige Turner (botchiest of all time, but who cares?) for the win. We have us a new Divas champ! I've wanted this for about 3 years, ever since I saw Paige signed up for developmental on a channel 4 documentary about her family. She's now the NXT Women's Champion AND the WWE Divas Champion. Beautiful. Love it.
Hulk Hogan comes out and my hatred for him soothes a bit, because I love his music, and he can have a laugh about the fact he's three quarters of the way towards being classed as a threat to himself. He seems more relaxed, and why shouldn't he be? All he has to do is present the battle royal trophy to the winner... CESARO! The main man comes out wearing a jacket that he dibs'd when some of the lads were clearing out Y2J's old locker. Looking suave ma man. Zeb Colter is with him, and cries him a "Zeb Colter Guy", but the swiss superman is having none of that, he's not that guy, he's not a Zeb Colter Guy... HE'S A PAUL HEYMAN GUY. I cannot cope with it. It's too good. I felt like Isa out Still Game, I had to tell someone, I woke up ma maw, "MAW! CESARO'S A PAUL HEYMAN GUY!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIT TAE BED!" She doesn't understand. She'll never understand how happy I am with this. In the current wrestling world, only one man would have been better than Cesaro as the new Paul Heyman Guy, and he's a big Irish lad with a crackin' torso who recently left NJPW ;) Jack Swagger comes out and attacks Cesaro, then destroys his Andre trophy. Take it we have a match eh?
Cesaro vs Jack Swagger
Usual start from Cesaro, uppercuts to Swagger's gub, and the action spills to the outside. Cesaro knees Jack in the gut and rolls him back in, before going up top, but Swagger recovers and hits the throw from the top rope for a near fall. Some chokeholds and such are followed by Cesaro hitting Swagger with an uppercut in every corner, and he signals for the swings with his new manager barking orders from ringside, but Swagger rolls out and gets himself counted out while the crowd chant "pussy!" as he's making his way up the ramp. Passable wee match, but who cares about the match? It only matters about the preceding segment, and how happy it made me. It's all good baby, baby.
Steph is giving Kane and The Shield aw the patter about how Triple H has to be the new champion by the end of the night, and these four need to see that it's done. The boys give Kane some jip about how they squashed him and the Outlaws at Mania, and Kane goes mental. Calls the boys aw the names, and then right at the end, tells them it was Triple H who made him set all they teams on The Shield on smackdown a few weeks ago. Wrong move big man.
Daniel Bryan vs Triple H (WWE World Heavyweight Championship)
Aye... this never happened. Daniel Bryan makes his entrance, but just as we're expecting Triple H, we get Batista and Orton instead. Beat the shite out our hero, so they do. RKO. Batista Bomb. Out comes Kane to settle these two down... but nope, Chokeslam to Bryan as well. Then what we knew would happen, Hunter comes out to pick the bones, demands that the ref rings the bell, but just as he's about to troll every person around the wrestling globe... Sierra, Hotel, India... HERE COMES THE CAVALRY. The Shield make their way to the ring and stand opposite Kane and the oily ones, who'll flinch first? Who'll make the first move? The Shield hit the apron, followed by their slightly less cool adversaries. Into the ring the Shield go, followed by the Authority. Hunter tries to defuse the situation, but with the words of Kane still ringing in his ear, Roman spears the boss in half, and it's on. Double suicide dive from Ambrose and Rollins on Orton and Batista. A chokeslam attempt from Kane to Reigns is broken and he eats a superman punch, and now its justice time, as the Shield regroup and surround Triple H, but it's only a setup as Hunter turns right into a running knee from the champ! Kane pulls Hunter out the ring and the Authority leaves with dented pride and sair coupons as Daniel Bryan and his new pals celebrate in the ring.
Excellent RAW. In every way possible. 10/10. I mentioned at the start of this about the future, and right now, it's looking pretty bright. Daniel Bryan is our champ, Bray Wyatt is still looking to go after John Cena, Cesaro is now a Heyman guy, the Shield may be headed to a collision with Evolution in the near future, which I'd be ecstatic about. Winning debuts for Alexander Rusev and Paige (yaaaaaaaaaas) and on top of that, we got hit with Adam Rose and Bo Dallas vignettes through the course of the night as well. So with a strong pool of talented wrestlers over on NXT at the main roster's disposal, the road to Wrestlemania XXXI starts now. This is why we love professional wrestling, this is why we've been watching for years and will be watching for years to come, the ability to, in the space of 3 hours, sell you on what's to come in the next year, and keeping the fresh faces coming in.
Once again, R.I.P Ultimate Warrior, gone too soon.