It all comes down to this. The biggest show in Insane Championship Wrestling's history. Their Wrestlemania, so to speak. The culmination of some of the most intriguing rivalries in the world of professional wrestling, being played out in the biggest venue in Scotland - The Barrowlands.
And I won't fucking be there.
Or at least, as it stands, I won't. That won't stop me going into Glasgow on Sunday and asking everyone within a mile radius of the Barras if they have a spare ticket going. If you don't ask, you don't get, eh? Hesitation gets ye nowhere. I put off getting a ticket time and time again because "there'll be some left next week". I'm a fucking idiot. Know who isn't an idiot but? Mark Dallas. He, along with everyone who is a part of the operation, whether it be behind the scenes or in the ring, have made this whole thing possible. They've made it the hottest thing in professional wresting the world over. The entire world is taking about ICW, and so it fucking should be.
This night will successfully blow the roof off the Barrowlands, it'll have folk missing work on Monday because they just can't bring themselves to get out of bed, nothing they're going to do or see will compare to the controlled chaos they will bear witness to on November 2nd. So we might as well break that madness down match by match...
Joe Coffey vs Noam Dar
The decider. The final match in what has been a phenomenal best of 5 series. Currently, it stands at 2-2, and that just won't fuckin' do. One more match. Both men have hinted in the previous bouts to turn heel and finish the other off, by means of a claw hammer or a steel chair, but respect has always came to the fore, and in the end, that hesitation has been costly for both men. Now, it appears that's out the window. These two may have all the respect in the world for each other, but at Fear and Loathing, don't think for one minute that Noam Dar or Joe Coffey will not do whatever is necessary to hold the bragging rights over the other. As always, expect this to be a wrestling clinic. Why? Because these two are, simply, the very best Scotland has to offer, bar NONE. It says a lot when despite that, I don't think this will be the match of the night, but it'll certainly be one that will not be forgotten easily.
Stevie Boy & Kay Lee Ray vs Liam Thomson & Carmel
What do you get when you put four of the best workers in the country in the same match? Mate, ye get a cracker every time. This isn't the first time these teams have met, and I pray to fuck it won't be the last. It appeared as though they had put their differences aside at 1.21 Gigawatts, Great Scott! when Carmel cut an impassioned promo about how Stevie and Kay Lee are two of her very best friends, before she and Liam attacked them from behind. This is a chance to finally settle the score between these two couples, and prove once and for all who the real power couple in ICW really is. On a sidenote, there's been no sign of the other Bucky Boy, Davey in a while... maybe he'll make an appearance on the night...
Kenny Williams (c) vs Damo vs Joe Hendry vs Kid Fite (ICW Zero-G Championship Match)
Another potential belter here, as Kenny defends his Zero-G belt yet again. This time, he faces the three men who he beat to become the number 1 contender for the title in the first place, when he pinned then Kennedy Administration team-mate Joe Hendry while Damo and Kid Fite fought into the backstage area. Damo has promised he won't be distracted again, and Kid Fite has been on the roll of his career in ICW. Both men have big shouts to dethrone The Bollocks, who has successfully defeated the likes of Marty Scurll, Stevie Boy, and Kid Fite one on one since capturing the title from the "Real Deal" Mark Coffey at Spacebaws 4. This will be his toughest test to date, as he doesn't need to be pinned or submit to lose his title, and it seems inevitable that Joe Hendry's time for a championship in ICW is fast approaching. I fancy the Global Hero to snatch the belt after some tomfoolery on the part of a certain James R. Kennedy.
The New Age Kliq vs Sumerian Death Squad
When I used the term "organized chaos" earlier, it was in no way relating to this match right here. As far as it being organized, that can go straight tae fuck. This will just be pure chaos. The NAK tried to take out the most frightening team in the world today, the one mistake they made was that they didn't finish them off. The Sumerian Death Squad are coming for the Kliq, and no one will stop them from fucking destroying them. I can't be pushed for a prediction though, as the NAK have proved time after time that they SHOULD be the most feared team in ICW, and will no doubt have a trick or twelve up their sleeves for the SDS. The only prediction I'd be willing to make at this time is - there will be blood, and no one is leaving this match the same man they entered it as.
Paul London & Brian Kendrick (c) vs Polo Promotions (ICW Tag Team Championship Match)
The main regret I have about the past month or so is that London and Kendrick have been going ICW daft, and I've yet to see them. They are, without a doubt, my favorite tag team ever, and I'm so gutted that I'll probably have to go to Edinburgh of all places for Fear and Lothian to finally see them live. They are the reigning tag champs, and that makes me unbelievably happy. But on the other hand, so do Mark Coffey and Jackie Polo. In my opinion, they couldn't have chosen a better team to face the bold Londrick for the belts, as Jackie and Mark are the best ae buds, with chemistry like no other. They're also awfy good at that wrestling. So are London and Kendrick. That alone will make this a glorious match. However, there will be banter aplenty throughout, and this could very well go down as the most entertaining match of the night.
Grado vs Sha Samuels
Grado and Sha have been at each other for what seems like a long time now. At 1.21 Gigawatts, it appeared as though Samuels was coming for Grado, but insisted that he'd deal with him another time, before duly dispatching the heart and soul of the NAK, and the holder of our hearts, Dickie Divers. This is that other time. Samuels made it clear that his affiliation with Polo Promotions was well and truly oot the window when he called out Mark Coffey on the Magical Mystery Tour. Now it's one on one. Mano el mano. Hot off his exploits for a certain American company, Grado will be looking to get his ICW career rolling again, and no better way to do it by battering fuck out of a big bad Londoner who wants nothing more than to strangle all us Jock caaaants. Got to fancy Grado to finally put an end to Sha's constant torment of him, using any shenanigans that he sees fit.
BT Gunn vs Wolfgang
This is the one that has match of the night written all over in capital letters. The cousins. This is no longer about competitive spirit, because BT has beaten him each time they've met. 3-0. It's also no longer about BT wanting his cousin to open his eyes and join the brotherhood of the NAK, it's gone way past that. It was personal a long time ago, but now it's just a matter of who can hurt the other more. The differences seemed to finally have been put aside after their brutal dog collar match, when BT offered his hand to Wolfgang, who accepted. What transpired after will have infuriated Wolfgang even further. Distractions by the NAK cost Wolfy his match with Drew Galloway in Dundee, and Wolfy hinted that there may well be a steel cage locking these two together, so no one gets out and, most importantly, no one gets in. Whether that comes to fruition or not, these two will steal the show. No matter where this is placed on the card, BT Gunn and Wolfgang will blow the Barrowlands to smithereens, and leave everyone in attendance wondering if anything else they'll see can touch that match. I can think of one match that might give it a good shot...
Jack Jester (c) vs Drew Galloway (ICW Heavyweight Championship Match)
Whatever friendship Jester and Galloway once had is gone. Since the moment the lights went back on at Shug's House Party, this was the grand plan. The two guys who were there at the very start, in the most important match in ICW history, on the most important night in ICW history. Both have said everything that needs to be said regarding the match. They've both made it quite clear that their friendship is lost. Jack Jester threatened to set Drew Galloway on fire. Drew Galloway left Jack Jester bleeding after a bar brawl during a Q&A session. Security has been required to keep them separated all throughout the British tour. On November 2nd, they get what they want. Each other, in the ring, no rules. No one stopping them from brutalizing each other to the point of no return. No matter who wins this, it will be the exclamation point in what will have been the greatest night in the company's history. They'll leave everything lying in the middle of that ring and anywhere they see fit to take their fight. Galloway wants the ICW Championship, but he isn't going to walk into Fear and Loathing and take it without being going through one of the most violent men he's ever likely to stand opposite a wrestling ring with. If I may offer only one piece of advice, it would be that to whoever wins this match, keep something spare in the tank, you never know who could be waiting in the wings...